See Where This Takes US
by parker1009
Summary: Derek thinks its just another day, but when he see's Merediths reaction after an elevator ride, everything changes.. Mer/Der.. with a little bit of the other characters.. but only in a way to help Mer/Der's story.
1. Chapter 1

-- Okay-- I should have been paying attention in class today

This is my first time doing this.. so if its bad.. I totally understand. Because this is my first time doing this.. let me know what you think. BTW- Started right this Thursday morning before the previous episode.

Chapter 1

After the elevator ride from hell yesterday with Addison, Mark, and Meredith, Derek strongly considered taking the stairs this time with Rose. With a sigh of relief he then remembered that Addison was on her way back to L.A. and Mark was in surgery. Derek knew Meredith's shift ended two hours ago after some testing on patients from the clinical trial. They were safe. Pressing the down button, he then turned his attention back to Rose in astonishment at how much candy this grown women ate.

There was a beep signaling to elevators arrival. Derek and Rose turned around, and much to Derek's surprise when the doors opened her saw her. Not bossy Meredith, Not I am fine Meredith, Not rambling Meredith, Not surgery high Meredith. He gasped for air as he stared at a Meredith he had never seen before.

Barely being able to hold herself in place with her shoulders slumped she cried harder than she has ever cried before. Gasping for breaths in between sobs, she looked up and saw the two people she was not ready to see. Why could it not have been Bailey, or flirty man-whore mark? Anyone. Meredith wiped away tears that furiously ran down her porcelain skin and ran out of the elevator, down the stairs, and out of Seattle Grace faster than she has ever done anything in her life.

He blinked. One second she was there in a state he has never seen the next second she gone. He felt sick. He felt like he could not breathe. He could not move.

Pulling out the emergency stop button Rose looked at Derek and said, "You need to follow her."

"What?"

"Derek. I am not stupid. I have been around Grace long enough to know and right now we both know where you want to be. The way you look at her Derek. I would kill to have a man look at me that way. I have waited for you to look at me that way. Any women would, and you only have that look, the look that women would kill for… and you only have it for Meredith Grey.

Pushing the button back in.. The elevator doors opened.. Rose walked out and turned back around, In a sad yet relieving tone she said,

"I really liked you Derek, you are that guy, you are the guy", she got a few tears in hers eyes and continued. "But this, whatever we almost had or tried will never work.. I denied it. I thought you would change. I thought we could change, but this will never work because you will always love her."

As Rose walked over to stairs near the bridge that he loved so much. Derek had so many emotions running through his body. He was mad at himself.. He was mad at Meredith; he was in shock by Rose. He was worried, he was scared for what this meant, and he was tired, he so easily could turned and gone home. The easy way out, Rose just walked away.. She walked away from me, I should just turn and walk away. But the image he had seen several moments before gave him a surge of adrenaline to go and find her. Forget walking away, Derek had walked away too many times before, and he was done, he needed to go find Meredith, he needed to make sure she was okay, he needed her. He knew it all along, it hurt, but deep down he needed her and only her… his breath caught in his throat as all he could think about driving to her house was her sobbing and gasping for breaths.. He needed her.. and he kept telling himself that she was going to be okay.

"Why are you here?"

"Is Meredith here?" Look Alex, I know you hate me.. I know all of you hate me.. but I really need to see Meredith. I need to talk her..Please?

I was on-call last night.. when I got home this morning the girls were leaving.. she hasn't been back since.. and with that he shut the door.


	2. The Beginning

Chapter 2- The Beginning --P

Chapter 2- The Beginning

It was pouring out all afternoon as Derek drove around looking for Meredith.

Two hours earlier he arrived at her house but had to encounter Alex at the door instead.

"Why are you here?"

"Is she home.. Look Alex I know you all hate me, but I really need to talk to Meredith. I need to see her, its important; you know I wouldn't be here if it wasn't"

"I was on-call last night, when I got in this morning to go crash the girls were leaving; I'm more than sure no one has been back since." With that, Alex muttered under his breath and shut the door in Derek's face.

After driving to her house, he went to all of her favorite places. In defeat, he continued on driving down the highway leading him back to the trailer but last minute he decided to take the exit to their lookout. He remembered the first time they went up there. She was waiting in the rain with a bottle of wine, because she knew this great place with a sunrise overlooking the ferryboats.

Pulling his car up next to black jeep.. he got out and walked down the path to opening.

Not seeing her car, he did not think it was actually her. Worried about how she got here, worried because she was staring out with a blank look on her face and she still had tears free falling from her eyes.

Scared of her reaction he walked over to the picnic table she was sitting on, hugging her legs against her. He sat down at the bench next to her.

"Meredith?"

She didn't even acknowledged him, she started huffing for breaths again and the tears now continued more than before.

"Hey.. Shhhh" He tried calming her down as seeing her fall apart made him sick to his stomach again.

With her eyes filled with tears for the first time she looked at him and choked out,

"Why are you here?"

"Why I am here? How is that even a question" he gasped.. "You ran out, you ran out barely being able to keep yourself together, barely breathing, sobbing, I was so worried, I felt sick Meredith, seeing you this upset kills me right now."

"Derek you don't have to do the thing. Do not pretend to still be that guy… We are not together anymore.. you are with Rose.. you choose her.. you.."

He looked at her.. and said.. I'm not with Rose.. not anymore.. that.. I made a terrible mistake.. Meredith I made so many mistakes. Here is a girl, who wants everything, but we both realized that everything to her is different because everything.. everything to me.. is you.. and with that a whole new batch of tears began to fall down Meredith's face.

Meredith couldn't breathe. She gasped for air as tears could not stop falling. Therapy was good for her, she knew that, but it brought emotions from her past, things she had buried so deep, and now everything from her past as well as everything from this past year, everything was coming at once.

Beginning to choke, Derek worriedly jumped off the bench and sat on the table like Meredith rubbing her back and whispering shhhhh… Slow deep breaths. No change. He began to breathe slow deep breaths, and whispered so lovingly in her ear.. "shh.. breathe for me Meredith.. you need to breathe."

In between sobs and gasps she got out, "Breathe.. for you.. you told… you couldn't… I couldn't.. you couldn't breathe for me..

Meredith.. you need to breathe.. forgot what I said.. I was an idiot. I said and did things this year that I will regret for the rest of my life, but right now.. I need you to breathe.. shhh.. slow deep breaths.. shhh.. here.. breathe with me..

With that, she slowly began to mirror his breathing pattern and minutes later, she sat there again staring out at the water.

Maybe it was the exhaustion of her work schedule, maybe it was the exhaustion of pretending to not care when she saw Derek and Rose at the hospital for the past month, maybe it was the effects of finally opening up at therapy, but Meredith Grey did the unthinkable…..


	3. Let Go

This is soo short its not even funny—but I promise

This is soo short its not even funny—but I promise.. much more later tonight.. Thanks!!

Let Go

_Maybe it was the exhaustion of her work schedule, maybe it was the exhaustion of pretending to not care when she saw Derek and Rose at the hospital for the past month, maybe it was the effects of finally opening up at therapy, but Meredith Grey did the unthinkable….._

"You know when I was younger.. I actually wished I was never born."

"All the kids in my class would have birthday parties, Halloween parties, end of the year schools out.. and every year I would get, Meredith, why don't you have parties, How come I was never invited to your Birthday."

Derek looked at her in complete shock

"My birthday... On my fifth birthday, my dad promised to take me to the Space Needle. I was so excited and drove my mom nuts all day. She couldn't take it anymore and told me to wait in my room for him to come home from work. She didn't know it, but I waited at the top of the stairs, staring at the door.

It rained for hours.. and when I heard him walk in I ran to my room as fast as I could and got myself ready.. ran back downstairs.. and.. my mom was on the phone planning are leave to Boston.

Meredith continued speaking but the tears continued falling again, "he left.. who does that.. what kind of person leaves on their daughters birthday."

With that last sentence Meredith broke down again, finally letting go, she turned to Derek's embrace….


	4. Now or Never

Chapter 4 Now or Never

Chapter 4 Now or Never

_Meredith continued speaking but the tears continued falling again, "he left.. who does that.. what kind of person leaves on their daughters birthday."_

With that last sentence Meredith broke down again, finally letting go, she turned to Derek's embrace….

The weather was now beginning to change as it was now late afternoon. Still overlooking the ferryboats Meredith laid with her head buried deep into Derek's chest and she cried.

Derek continued to rub her back and whisper in ear. Feeling shock as for the first time Meredith opened up to him about her past.

For hours, they talked about Meredith when they first moved to Boston, her rebellious cute self in high school, and how after college she got in a fight with her mom and left for Europe… which explained to him why Lexie was only a year behind her in the program at Seattle Grace.. but never asked..

Derek could not believe that this morning after being on-call all night, he went from working with Meredith on the clinical trial and briefly catching glances and touches compared to now.

Here they sat with one of the most gorgeous views of city, with Meredith holding more tightly to his body than she ever has before.

After minutes of silence, Meredith regained some of her composure and whispered out,

"I'm in therapy now."

Derek glanced at her with his McDreamy look, proud of her for this accomplishment but at the same time, he felt a wave of hurt.

Watching his reaction to her revelation, she saw both expressions,

"I get in trouble when I don't open up, and now that I do, you do that?"

Smirking because she was back to being the bossy Meredith he fell in love with, at the same time nervous as hell for the conversation they were about to have.

"Why now?"

"Excuse Me?"

"Why now, Why after everything we have been though? Meredith why couldn't we.. why couldn't you try when we were together. Why open up to me now?"

With every fiber in her being she remained sitting next to him when really she was ready to bolt.

"I didn't do therapy for you"

Waiting for her to continue, hoping for something, hoping for anything, he waited.

"I have issues. I have so many issues, issues that I did not even know I had. I have been going for 4 weeks. I feel better, I am starting to sleep a little more, but not really anything yet, but it is helping me Derek. The last thing I needed was for me to try something for you, I needed to do this for myself… and don't even get me started on how many sessions we have had talking about you."

With a smirk all over his face, he knew it meant good and bad, "Me?"

"O yes.. many appointments.. I have so many issues we meet everyday.. Monday thru Friday, I have appointments, that is how messed up I am… and several of the meetings we talk about what happened to us.

Moments later as she stared out at a family walking to a nearby park, he broke her out of her trance,

"Meredith.."

Looking away from the family, she turned and for the first time in a really long time, stared straight into those beautiful blue eyes,

"Despite everything that happened, you have no idea how proud I am of you right now"

Making her uncomfortable she started to look away, but he caught her first.

"No, look at me"

He ran his hands along her jaw line and brought her glance back to his,

"I really am, Meredith, God, I am so unbelievably proud of you right now. For therapy, for looking out for Lexie, for helping Bailey, and for the clinical trial. I know I have not been the support system you needed, but Meredith.. in this moment, for you opening up to me in that way... I am so proud of you."

Not used to hearing these words, the tears slowly began to fall again. Trying to take the conversation away from her, she bluntly said,

"Yea.. The clinical trial.. lots of good that was.. we lost him Derek."

"Hey.. None of that. We both know the risks of this, I wouldn't have signed on if I didn't think this would amount to anything. The work you put in.. Meredith despite this one loss… think of the future.."

"Yea"

With a lot of heavy conversation, Derek looked at her and said,

"I think I need a rule book or something."

Completely confused, she giggled a little and replied,

"A rule book on what?"

"You"

"Me?"

"Yes.. You.. Just when I think I know you.. you surprise me… Meredith from the bar, Meredith with mommy secrets, Dark and Twisty, Bright and Shiny, and now today.. ..Emotional Meredith.. .. What's Next.. can I get a warning next time?"

"Next time?"

Derek knew it was now or never…..

Please comment.. do not know if I should continue??


	5. Here it Goes

Chapter 5 – I drowned

Chapter 5 – Here it goes

"_Yes.. You.. Just when I think I know you.. you surprise me… Meredith from the bar, Meredith with mommy secrets, Dark and Twisty, Bright and Shiny, and now today.. ..Emotional Meredith.. .. What's Next.. can I get a warning next time?" _

"_Next time?"_

_Derek knew it was now or never….. _

"You think I don't still have feelings for you"

"Do not start that," and she again looked back at the family

"Meredith, look at me, please"

"Derek, you said things, you wanted things, the guy I fell in love with.. I don't even know if he really exists, maybe it was my mind playing tricks on me. Because that guy, I haven't seen him in a really long time.

"How can you say that? Would I be here right now if I wasn't that guy?"

"Derek, the day we broke up, the very same day, you asked your nurse out on a date. The very same day Derek."

Feeling the regret of his choices, feeling the regret of the choices he has made this past year, Derek whispered out,

"Meredith….I… I wanted commitment from you, I wanted everything from you, and you were not giving me anything. You have no idea what that was like for me."

"O yes, drowning, my mother and Susan dying was a cakewalk for me"

Derek felt like he was being punched in the stomach, as Meredith made light of the drowning experience. He got up off the bench and went down and sat in the grass.

Here for the first time ever, Meredith was opening up. Scared to push it too far, but he wanted to finally talk about the one day he dreaded most in his life.

Meredith felt a sigh of relief when Derek got off the bench. Here he is, trying to be supportive… and all she can do is feel anger as thoughts rambled away in her head.

_Does he really just think because he and Rose are no longer so-called together I am really just going to jump back in his arms and give us another chance. Who the hell does he think he is. Next time…hhmmm… and look here he is walking away again. Couldn't deal with it, so he got up and walked away. What an ass. I walk away.. I get in trouble… He walks away and he is allowed. Ass. _

"I drowned Derek." She didn't know where it came from, but the next thing she knew was the most nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Derek couldn't believe it_. At the time she wasn't giving me anything. Anything but sex. We were seeing other people.. she agreed to seeing other people and she is going to get upset about Rose. _

"I drowned Derek."

With the most antagonizing feeling in his stomach, he turned to finally look at her, "Yeah, yeah you did."

Meredith didn't say anything, Derek thought back to the time in the on-call room. She started talking about it, but then shut back down. He thought, _you know, she already hates me right now, go for it,_

"Why didn't you swim"

With the days events, with everything, the tears began to fall again,

"I did"

"Then why did I have to jump into Elliot Bay?

Why did I have to give CPR to my girlfriend?

Why was I kicked out of a trauma room?

Why did I sit in the hallway crying with Mark?"

Meredith knew her drowning experience affected both of them, but with Derek's revelation, she realized for the first time how bad it really affected him. Knowing she had two choices…. She could avoid, run back to her new black new jeep and go get drunk at Joe's, or for the first time she could stand her ground. Here it goes….


	6. Tomorrow

Chapter 6- Tomorrow

_Meredith knew her drowning experience affected both of them, but with Derek's revelation, she realized for the first time how bad it really affected him. Knowing she had two choices…. She could avoid, run back to her new black new jeep and go get drunk at Joe's, or for the first time she could stand her ground. Here it goes…._

Derek could not believe the day's events. Completely drained from the day he laid in his bed replaying the conversation's they had today over and over in his head.

Meredith finally opened up to him. For the first time they talked about her past, she opened up about the drowning experience, explained a dream after drowning he did not really understand but he let her continue to explain about Denny, Dylan, doc, and her mom.

With a new sense of hope, he could not wait to see her tomorrow, and soon fell fast asleep.

Meredith went home to quite house. She did not know where her roommates were and she really did not care. She went upstairs, drew a warm bath, and thought about everything that was said today.

Meredith did not open up to people. The last time she opened up to Derek she instead got to meet his wife.

Meredith climbed out of the tub and went straight to bed worried about tomorrow. Here she again opened up, and now was waiting for the backlash as good things do not seem to happen to Meredith Grey.

Arriving at Seattle Grace the following morning, Derek met up with Mark as he was walking to the elevators.

"What the hell happened yesterday?"

"Mark.. What are you talking about?"

"I don't know, maybe Meredith running out...which the whole hospital is talking about.. you might want to stay clear of Christina Yang and Lil Grey.

And Rose finally breaking up with you…which I really enjoyed a little too much..

And lets not forget you running off I'm assuming after Meredith… care to fill in if missed anything."

"Look.. none of that matters… okay well Meredith matters, hey have you seen her yet?"

With that, Mark gave Derek quite a look, "Meredith huh.."

"I fucked up; I hurt her over and over again…" With that, Derek looked at Mark like for the first time he really realized he had a lot to do to get Meredith Grey back.

The elevator arrived on the floor, the boys walked out, everyone around the nurse's station, and those in the hallway went silent as Meredith Grey walked around the corner and right into the one person who she was scared as hell to see.

I will try to have another update tomorrow... Please comment, let me know what you think… xoxo Kate..


	7. Lets Do It Together

Chapter 7- Lets Do It Together

_The elevator arrived on the floor, the boys walked out, everyone around the nurse's station, and those in the hallway went silent as Meredith Grey walked around the corner and right into the one person who she was scared as hell to see. _

With his eyes glowing and a smile across his face that was making Mark want to throw up, Derek grabbed her arm and steadied her.

"Hey.. You okay?"

"Umm.. yea…. With that, her pager went off and Derek let out a big sigh.

"Do you have to take it?"

Without realizing it, she blurted out, "Just Christina"

"Crap"

Crap?"

"I wasn't suppose to tell you that"

With his head tilted to side, "Ohh I see, being your person, she paged you so you didn't have to talk to me."

"So she is the reason you have been able to avoid me.."

Derek then turned around and looked up to see Christina overlooking the nurse's station. When she saw him turn up to look at her, she turned around to speed walked over to the surgery board.

This made Meredith lightly giggle, which made Derek turn right around.. Missing her infectious laugh..

Scared that she was standing in front of him, waiting for the other shoe to drop, screaming at herself for blurting out her escape route that always worked in the past, Meredith did not even realize she moved until the door closed to the on-call room.

Meredith was now sitting down on an on-call room bed. Now nervously toying with her wrists, she watched as Derek grabbed a chair from the nearby desk.

He pulled the chair right in front of where she was sitting on the on-call room bed. He then put her legs in between his, and brought his hands to her knees.

_What the hell am I doing? _Meredith kept repeating that line over and over in her head. _This is the guy that lied to me about his wife, this guy choose her over me, he walked away, he pushes, he doesn't follow through, he dates his nurse_….

"Therapy works for you," broke Meredith completely out of her trance.

With her head down a little and lightly biting on her bottom lip she whispered out, "Yea… Yea it does."

She looked back questioningly at Derek.

"Meredith…. I know I have made a lot of mistakes.. We both have made so many mistakes"

Sick of playing this cat and mouse game, Meredith pushed back, "I am glad you finally admit to that."

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"I don't know Derek, maybe because for the past 4 months everything that happened to us was my fault."

Derek let out a much needed sigh…"Meredith"

"No.. Do Not Meredith Me… Derek yesterday was a lot for me.. You complain I never open up.. well neither do you."

When Derek first saw her this morning his eyes were glowing, now he looked tired with defeat.

Meredith was waiting.. waiting for him to get up and leave. That is what Derek did, it would get to a point where he no longer wanted to discuss what was going on.. She was waiting… and then he said,

"Let me go to therapy with you"

She didn't say anything.. She just looked up and gave him a nod to continue.

"Therapy works for you.. you have trust issues with me.. if that is a way for you to continue to be open with me.. then lets do therapy.. together"

With his head tilted to the side, "Meredith?"

"No."

Another update later tonight! Thanks for the comments everyone!!

Again, let me know what you think…. Kate


	8. Screwed

_Love the comments guys.. they keep me going_…

Chapter 8- Screwed

"_Let me go to therapy with you"_

_She didn't say anything.. She just looked up and gave him a nod to continue._

"_Therapy works for you.. you have trust issues with me.. if that is a way for you to continue to be open with me.. then lets do therapy.. together"_

_With his head tilted to the side, "Meredith?"_

"_No." _

Derek felt like he had been punched in the stomach.

She did not even think about, just flat out refused..

Sensing his hurt over her reply, she quickly responded with,

"Derek… Look I really am glad that you brought it up.. but Derek you need do therapy for you.. I needed to do therapy for me.. and then we can…

"Then we can what?"

"Look.. I do not know why this…. You hurt me…I hurt you.. It is the cycle.. this cycle that never seems to end.. and here we are… again.."

"Why this what?"

"Derek….. you tried therapy with Addison"..

With a smirk back on her face.. She continued, "Which clearly did not work"

"I… I chose wrong.. Meredith…I.. look.. therapy with Addison.. I did not want that to work, I did not want to go…"

"Then what would change your mind about it to go now?"

"Because with Addison I was still completely in love with you.. and now.. Meredith..

I have surgeries back to back this afternoon.. but tomorrow.. I swear to you.. I am making an appointment.

"Derek.. you going to therapy is not for me…."

"I know that.. Look.. I had a lot of issues before I met you.

"Now you are starting to sound like me"

Derek chuckled and continued on, "When I start going for me.. can we at least set up an appointment.. once.. both of us.."

"Please Meredith"

"Two days ago.. you had your tongue down Roses throat…two days ago Derek.. Look I can't promise you anything… you once told me to take everything on faith, do you remember that?'

_Thinking back to the time he first took her out to the trailer.. god he loved that memory.. he was so nervous, and she completely surprised him.. _"Yes.. I remember that"

"You say that I never trusted you.. Derek.. I never did relationships... My mother raised me that way.. that was all I knew.. You…"

With this Meredith began to cry, "You… were this annoying guy…. who I could not say no too despite every fiber in my being telling me not too.. and I did trust you Derek.. I did… I told you about my mother...I.. you were the only one….and… I took everything on faith…. And I got screwed…"

Meredith could not look up at Derek with tears running down her porcelain skin.

He wasn't saying anything.. He just kept sighing, and she could not look at him.

Finally several minutes later the tears started to slow down and now her eyes were all puffy.

She was completely shocked when she looked up expecting to see those deep blue eyes..

She instead saw eyes that mirrored her own.

She whispered out his name…. and he still wasn't saying anything.. just tears running down his face.

Meredith did not know what to do….

_She was not expecting this at all.. She had not expected him to be here at all.. She had not expected that past two days at all… and now here she was.. and now here he was..… _

Nervous as hell she was going to put her self out on the line again…. Knowing that just like last time… she could get screwed… but here she was doing it anyway..

In a whispered tone just enough so he could here, she leaned forward, wiped tears away from his eyes, which just produced more from her touch, and she said, "If you commit to this.. I will too.. I….we will see where this takes us..."

Let me know what you think… - Kate


	9. Confessions Part I

Chapter 9-Confessions Part I

_Nervous as hell she was going to put her self out on the line again…. Knowing that just like last time… she could get screwed… but here she was doing it anyway.._

In a whispered tone just enough so he could here, she leaned forward, wiped tears away from his eyes, which just produced more from her touch, and she said, "If you commit to this.. I will too.. I….we will see where this takes us..."

Derek had surgeries all afternoon. Back to back surgeries. He had appointments scheduled for the following morning, so he knew he had to finish the rest of his paperwork tonight before he headed home.

It had rained earlier but now the stars were out as he turned down the dirt road that led to his trailer. Derek was so exhausted.

He had not been sleeping well, but after Meredith revealed she will commit to this, he found a new sense of hope, and was looking forward to sound sleep tonight.

Pulling up closer to the trailer a smile crossed his face as her black jeep was their. Completely unexpected, he was excited that she was here, but then at the same time doubt crossed his mind.

Getting out of his car, he grabbed his jacket and his briefcase from the backseat. He started to walk around to the deck when he overheard her yell into her phone,

"How about you just leave me the hell alone"

Suddenly worried he jumped up on the deck.

This made Meredith jump as she was so into the conversation she was having on the phone she did not even realize he was home.

He gave her a nod and asked if she was okay.

Wishing he could interpret who was on the other line and what they were saying, as they were clearly making Meredith upset, Derek watched her hang up on whoever she was talking to.

Meredith let out a heavy sigh and looked up at him.

He was still surprised to see her here but as she looked up he saw that look in her eyes that she was about to cry.

He grabbed the chair on the other side of the deck and put it next to hers, and said,

"Whose ass do I need to kick?"

This made Meredith giggle immediately and brought a smile back on both of their faces.

Glad that tears were no longing pooling in her eyes, he got back down into his worried mode, "Seriously Meredith…. Who was that on the phone?.. Is someone threatening you?

He looked down at her at hands that were now toying with her wrists.

_I told him I would commit to this.. I can do this.._

Meredith thought back to this morning; after her run in with Derek in the hallway, after their on-call room confessions, she had to assign off her interns, spent the rest of the morning in the Pit, and then ran to her therapy appointment. She did not have a problem talking today.. and the therapist agreed this new approach and attitude from both of them could be just what they need…

_I can do this.. This could be just what we need… Just tell him everything.._

Please Comment.. Let me know what you think.. and I will put up the other update tonight!! -Kate


	10. Confessions Part II

Thanks for the comments!!

Chapter 9-Confessions Part II

_I told him I would commit to this.. I can do this.._

Meredith thought back to this morning; after her run in with Derek in the hallway, after their on-call room confessions, she had to assign off her interns, spent the rest of the morning in the Pit, and then ran to her therapy appointment. She did not have a problem talking today.. and the therapist agreed this new approach and attitude from both of them could be just what they need…

_I can do this.. This could be just what we need… Just tell him everything.._

Meredith was unaware that she was showing how nervous she was.

Derek looked at her worried but chuckled because pretty soon she would be off the deck.

Meredith was still toying with her wrists, biting on her bottom lip, and tapping her feet on the deck that was causing her chair to slightly move forward.

Derek put his foot out to prevent it from moving anymore on the deck and waited.

He had to trust her, he had to believe that when she said she would commit to this.. she would continue to open up to him.

He knew he still had a lot to prove, he knew that he hap to share more.. but right now he waited….

Meredith looked out at land…. _She loved it out here; she loved the trees, the animals, the smells, the lake, the views, everything.. _She felt peaceful out here, and sitting on the deck with Derek so close and waiting, she knew that it was time she started to confide in him.

Turning slightly in her chair into a somewhat comfortable position, she was now facing Derek and began,

"This morning.. after.. well after I.. and we.. and I.. well after everything I was talking to Izzie and Christina."

Derek loved when she rambled.

"I told them about yesterday… well okay they knew… from rumors what happened at work.. but they did not know… about later.. that you came and found me.. so I told them.."

Derek grabbed one of her free hands, and she continued opening up,

"Izzie went all Izzie, you know…true love…soul mates.. and then she started going off on how she was going to have to find Alex's ear plugs again.. well which is not the point.. the point is.. well really he is not going to need those.. but anyway.. then Christina.. "

With this Meredith did not want to cry, she did not want to break down again, but her breathing started to change which meant tears were soon to follow.

Derek whispered out, "Christina What?"

"She laughed at me… and.. then.. she said.. I'm done…." She got up.. and then….Meredith was now fully crying, "She told me that I was going to get hurt again.. and.. she was not… going to be there.. to pick up any pieces…That she was done.. and then she left..."

"Ohh Meredith" Derek grabbed her.. and she buried her head into the crook of his neck and cried.

He let her remain there for several minutes to calm down as he rubbed her back.

He then cupped her chin when she finally looked up and said, "There will be no pieces to pick up this time.. we are both in this… were both trying.. I'm not backing down.. I am not walking away from you…I have already made that mistake... I know she is your friend and you always go to her.. but Meredith.. this.. she has no right.. you have been their for everything with her.. and now…"

He looked at her with a gleam in his eyes, pleading, "I'm sorry she can't support this..just please.. don't let her change your mind about us.."

She surprised him by running her fingers over his jaw line and whispered out, "I'm not.. She is supposed to be my friend… and you are…. and she can't…. I'm not…. I'm still in this…"

After they ate dinner, which Meredith had picked up on her way out here and had waiting inside the trailer, they grabbed a couple blankets from the cubby and went out to the hammock.

With her head rested against his chest, she felt so content, feeling the rise and fall. Derek had both arms wrapped around her, with the blankets keeping them warm, and their toes mingled together, he felt like he had felt when they first got together, a feeling that he never thought he would feel again.

"Meredith?"

Snuggling close to his body again, "Yeah?"

"Was that Christina on the phone earlier?

He felt her body tense up next to him, "No….. that was Thatcher…"

Derek felt vile rise…. "He is threatening you?... Your talking to him again? Why?? What is going on??"

"Breathe Derek.. No I am not talking to him again.. He found out about Lexie…"

"Lexie?"

"She stayed at the house for a while.. somehow he found out… and called to rub in my face… how he lost his wife to me.. and now his daughter.."

"Meredith.. Susan was not your fault"

"I know.. I know that now.. but it still hurts you know.."

"He was completely drunk.. He is always drunk.. Lexie won't go home and get her stuff, she is too afraid Derek.. She is afraid of her home.. and now.. he is calling me… and…I just… I just want to be there for her you know…"

Derek looked down at her completely surprised..

"She is technically my sister and all.."

With this Derek laughed, "so says the woman who absolutely hated her months ago…"

"I did not hate her.. okay.. at times I hated her…. But she went to a therapy session with me, and that helped.. it really helped.. before I just…. I just hated that I felt like I was never enough.."

Still completely worried about Thatcher, Derek snuggled into more, "Soo I see.. therapy with Lexie.. who you've known.. a mere couple months, but yet I get put out until I "graduate" from therapy on my own… I see how this works.."

She got it out of her system… She told Derek about what was happening, and here she was, and he was still holding her tightly, He was making light of therapy with Lexie.. This was going to be okay.. Derek broke Meredith out of her thoughts with,

"You want to know something?"

"What"

"Before, you said you hated how you felt like you were never enough.. I get that.. I used to feel that way too……."

Let me know what you think!! -Kate P.


	11. You Have A Choice

Shout Out—Thank You All For the Comments.. It inspires me to Continue!! Thanks!

Chapter 10 – You Have A Choice

_You want to know something?"_

"_What"_

"_Before, you said you hated how you felt like you were never enough.. I get that.. I used to feel that way too……."_

Meredith had opened up more to Derek in the last two days than she had the entire year and half she knew him.

She knew that for this to work the both were going to have to talk about their past. Meredith revealed that she felt that she was never enough, but was completely surprised when Derek revealed he used to feel the same.

"You weren't enough for Addison?"

"No.. when I was younger"

Derek titled his head a little to the side as she looked back up at him,

"You know when I was younger, my dad died"

Meredith felt like an idiot.. They had been together.. and she did not even know information about his family.

"He died.. it was fast.. quick…. and after my mom was just destroyed… She was still always there for us.. We really had nothing, not a lot of money, not a lot of anything, but she made us feel like we had everything, and for some reason growing up.. I always felt like in my family I was never good enough.

Meredith was shocked.. she regained her composure and whispered out,

"Derek… that… there was nothing you could do… you were a little boy…and.."

"And what? I was little… and it is not okay for me to have felt that, but when you were little it was okay that your father left and your mother left you to fend for yourself?"

"Wow"

Derek did not expect her to say that all…and gave her a puzzling look..

"I grew up.. My mother had a lot of money.. I could have had anything… but I felt like I grew up with nothing, and you grew up with nothing, but felt like you had everything… Messed up world we live in…"

With absolutely no warning.. The Seattle Skyline changed.. and it began to rain.. slow at first.. like a mist.. and then went into a downpour.

Meredith let out a little scream and ran back to the deck of the trailer with Derek grabbing the blankets and following close behind.

Now both soaking wet.. They both looked at each other and laughed…

Derek put the blankets down and Meredith glanced at the clock.

"Crap"

"Is that your new word?"

With a smirk all over his face, "What happened to fine?"

Meredith let a huff and began to ramble..

"It's late.. I'm soaked.. I have….work.. tomorrow.. work.. I have to get going…"

Meredith went back into the trailer to get her things and Derek immediately went up behind her and took them away.

"Derek, what are you doing? It is late.. and now pouring, and I have to get going"

Thunder soon filled the void around them, closely followed lightning,

"Meredith, you are not leaving.. It is pouring outside, not raining, pouring, we could barely see running back to the trailer, let alone you driving back into the city.

Wanting to get his point across he said in such a nurturing tone, "I do not want to get a call at two thirty in the morning revealing that you were in an accident"

"Derek I cannot stay here"

"Why? Give me one reason why?"

Derek we both know what happens.. seriously.. I really have to explain this?"

Derek stood still holding her bag completely confused be her reaction.

"Men really are stupid.. Derek.. this trailer.. I love.. but this trailer Derek.. small.. which means that we would both end up in that bed…. Which is comfortable… which is not.. okay.. well we would both be in the bed.. which for us leads to well bad things…. Well not bad things.. good things.. but things we are not doing.."

"Did you even breathe?"

With that Derek chuckled and Meredith playfully smacked his arm, "I am serious Derek, we both know that is what always happens.."

"We have no self-control?"

That made Meredith chuckle and Derek continued to fight for her to stay,

"Look… If you drive home, I am going to follow you.. which is going to piss you off, and lead me to be an annoyed and tired surgeon in the morning..

So you have a choice.. you can have a pissed off, tired surgeons, or you can stay here, you can sleep in the bed, and I will sleep on the couch... What do you say?

Hours later as the storm finally moved past the city Meredith could not sleep.

She tossed and turned, and then looked down to see him on the couch at the other end of the trailer.

Wearing one of his white button-up shirts, she crawled out of bed and tip-toed over to the small couch.

_I told him it would lead to us doing bad things.. well good things really.. but things we are not doing.. and now here I am wanting to sleep next to him.._

Meredith slowly lifted an arm, and crawled in next to him.

They remained this way for a half an hour until Derek went to move in his sleep and could not.

Waking up with the lavender smell in his face, he smiled, but that soon frowned with the crank in his neck.

Meredith sensed he was up… scared to open her eyes.. scared as to what he would say.. she just remained there.

"I know you are not sleeping" Derek chuckled out, "Your not snoring.. kind of gives you away"

Meredith opened her eyes and blush swept across her face.

He noticed her blush; he loved it, and said, "Hmmm…. Couldn't sleep without me..."

She cuddled into him more..

"Despite your ramble earlier about us not being able to have self control.. there is now way we are sleeping the rest of the night on the couch"

He got up.. grabbed his pillow as she walked back to bed…

_Out of all of my things she had to wear to bed.. she choose that.._

She got back under the covers as he came over,

Noticing a change in his demeanor.. she could just tell…

"Whats wrong…"

"mmmm.. in this moment…. Nothing.."

"They why did you do that thing?.."

"Just bracing myself for a nice cold shower in the morning"

With this Meredith laughed...

They both found their spots.. Just like before… She never felt more at peace in his arms.. Having not slept good for the past five months Meredith dozed off for the first time, feeling completely content…

Derek felt euphoric. He had missed her more than he was willingly to admit.. He had his therapy appointment in the morning.. Nervous to go, he knew he needed too… He needed to for him… for her.. and for them.. Smelling her hair one last time… He leaned his head down into hers and fell fast asleep.

Please let me know what you think.. -Kate P.


	12. At The Door

Chapter 11- At The Door

_They both found their spots.. Just like before… She never felt more at peace in his arms.. Having not slept good for the past five months Meredith dozed off for the first time, feeling completely content… _

_Derek felt euphoric. He had missed her more than he was willingly to admit.. He had his therapy appointment in the morning.. Nervous to go, he knew he needed too… He needed to for him… for her.. and for them.. Smelling her hair one last time… He leaned his head down into hers and fell fast asleep. _

Meredith had spent her entire morning in an emergency surgery with Bailey.

It was now lunchtime at the Seattle Grace Hospital. Not wanting to bother Cristina, knowing that Izzie was in surgery, and Alex was acting all weird, Meredith went on a mission to find Derek, knowing that he should be out of his therapy appointment by now.

After checking the surgery board and not seeing his name until late afternoon, she then went to check the floor to see if he was with patients, she checked the on-call rooms, the lounges, and the study-rooms. Almost ready to give up and go eat on her own, she decided last minute, and ran up two flights of stairs to see if he was in his office.

Walking into the wing of the Neurosurgery Department in the Hospital was not surprised to see the secretary gone as if she too was off on lunch. She walked over to his office door and saw that it was partially open. She raised her hand to knock not knowing if he was with someone when she heard Mark Sloan say,

"What the hell did Grey do to you now"

Meredith immediately felt guilt… instead of pushing her fist against the door she brought her hands down to her sides… and just stood there not knowing what to do.. or what to think.. or what to say.. when she heard Derek,

"Meredith did not do anything Mark"

"Really you sure?.. I'm pretty sure you look like shit.."

In a bitter tone, "Thanks Mark"

"I just got done with therapy"

As Derek said it, Mark had just taken a drink, and spit it out all over the room..

"With What?"

"Therapy"

"I just gone done with fucking therapy"

"Grey is making you go to that shit?"

Meredith could not be there anymore.. She felt like everything was a joke… With tears down her face, she turned around, and ran out of the wing of the hospital and back to the surgical floor. Not even oblivious to others around her, she ran right past Cristina Yang.

Meanwhile back in Derek's Office.. Mark continued to eat his lunch and keep his mouth shut as moments before Derek completely went off on him. Interested to see what he had to say, Mark ate his food and let his brother talk,

"I was terrified…I.. Therapy works for Meredith.. it.. if this is a way for her to communicate I need this to work for me too… I got there, and froze.. I just didn't know what to say at first..

"We talked about growing up.. feeling pressured.. feeling not worthy.. talked a little about high school.. college…and then time was up…I honestly don't think it did anything.. I just.. I just I need this to work Mark.. "

"Addison"

"What?"

You need to talk about everything that happened with Addison.. the good.. when you met, the bad.. the walking away.. the promises.. the shit you pull in every relationship.. you need to start talking about that.." With that Mark threw away his garbage got up and went to leave..

"You walk away Derek.. you always have…If you really want things to work with Grey.. just.. do what you need to do.. but you need to face up and change the shit you always pulled in the past."

With that Mark left…. And Derek was completely frustrated..

About to page Meredith to see if she had anything for lunch, the slamming of his door instead startled him. He looked up to find incredibly pissed off Cristina Yang.

Please comment and let me know what you think!! –kate


	13. Memory Lane

About to page Meredith to see if she had anything for lunch, the slamming of his door instead startled him

Chapter 12 – Memory Lane

_About to page Meredith to see if she had anything for lunch, the slamming of his door instead startled him. He looked up to find incredibly pissed off Cristina Yang. _

"You're an Ass"

"Excuse Me?.. Dr. Yang do I need to rem.

"Cut the crap Shepherd… we both know why I am here.."

"Really.. because I am not so sure"

"You… all you do is hurt her…"

Derek gave her a puzzled look,

"No.. Do not give me that look. It does not work on me… Ever since.. Ever since this whole thing started all you do is hurt her… and I am here to tell you that you have hurt her one last time..

"Hurt her? We are trying to work things out… Will you just calm down.."

"Calm down.. .you want me to fucking calm down."

With this she gave off a bitter laugh.

"Then please Derek. Since apparently you know everything please explain to me why I saw my Best Friend running down the hallway crying moments ago.."

In a complete shocked voice completely unaware as to what she was talking about,

"What happened? Is she okay?"

"You tell me smartass she came running from your office"

Realizing that she must have overheard his conversation with Mark he sighed out, "Shit"

"Like I said… all you do is hurt…and I am sick and tired of it…"

"No it is not what you think.. she..

"I do not care… really.. I don't.. You can come up with your McDreamy excuses.. But I am here to tell you.. that.. look. Meredith is my person.. she is the only.. she is like my sister.. and your this guy who continuously screws her over.."

Derek tried to cut her off, but Cristina just got louder and more into the conversation…

"Lets talk about the past Derek.. Shall we.. lets take a ride down memory lane..

Addison.. remember her, your wife. Who you conveniently forget to tell your girlfriend about.. then lets talk about you stringing her along… for months you just made it even more miserable.. Then after the whole drowning thing...the whole you can't breathe for her.. ohhh. That was personally my favorite…

Then her mother died.. her stepmother died.. and you pressured her.. to give you stuff that you knew she was not ready for.. and not showing up.. I was at her house.. when Burke and I were not talking.. I was at that house and she waited up for you.. and you would never show.. and she would come up to bed and make excuses for you…… and well now lets not forget about your nurse either.. I can keep going if you'd like…"

Derek ran his hands through his hair as he sat in his desk chair feeling like a complete failure..

"You made it seem like that entire relationship.. that everything that happened was her fault… so here I am.."

If you fuck her over one more time.. I swear to surgeries that.. not only me.. but Alex, George, Izzie, and even now Lexie.. will be after you.. I swear to you Shepherd.. you mess this up again.. you will pay.. I will stake my life on it..

She regained her composure… and walked out..

Derek sat that there.. for minutes he just let everything her best friend said sink in.. He just re-said it repeatedly in his head.

Until he got to the part where Meredith had run out crying. He almost paged her before he was interrupted and threatened… so he paged her..

With a sense of guilt, with hurt, with frustration and worry.. he sat there and waited… but she never answered back.

The afternoon at Seattle Grace was a busy one. Every bad driver must have been out on the road because Derek was pulled into back to back surgeries again. He was tired and drained before and now scrubbing out of the surgery he looked even worse for the wear.

He checked his pager again.. He had paged her three more times and again did not get any returns…

_Avoiding.. She is back to avoiding.._

Walking out to turn in his paperwork for the night.. he was not even going to change. He was too damn tired.

On the way out of the hospital he happened to glance over to see her.

Sitting on the cement blocks.. he has seen her that way many times talking to George… she was sitting their. Staring off into space while holding onto a pack of papers, as if she was holding onto them for dear life.

I will be gone all next week… going on vacation with my parents and sibs…. Will have long updates when I come back…

Please comment..let me know what you think..-kate


	14. Lust, Faith, Hope

Walking out to turn in his paperwork for the night

Chapter 13- Lust, Faith, and Hope.. Finally..

_Walking out to turn in his paperwork for the night.. he was not even going to change. He was too damn tired. _

_On the way out of the hospital he happened to glance over to see her. _

_Sitting on the cement blocks.. he has seen her that way many times talking to George… she was sitting their. Staring off into space while holding onto a pack of papers, as if she was holding onto them for dear life. _

Walking over towards her she did not even move, not a glance. He jumped up on the block and sat next to her,

"I tried Meredith"

"I went.. It was not easy, it felt a little weird at first, but what can you expect… do you think this is going to work on the first try? Did it work for you at your first appointment"

"The reason am I saying this Meredith, and will you please look at me.. I know you heard me earlier, when I was with Mark..and Meredith, I was frustrated I was.. I just want this to work so badly, and you.."

Surprising him completely, she raised her finger to his lips to quite him.

"I'm sorry"

"I.. Derek.. the first two weeks of therapy were a mess for me.. I denied everything.. I.. look she had to push buttons, she had to.. it was very frustrating.. I should not have ran earlier, but I did..and I can't take that back.. but I am sorry for getting so upset."

"Wait a minute.. how did you know I was up by your office?"

With a smirk on his face, "Let's just say I almost died today.."

"Derek that is not something funny to say.. what happened?

"Well… your person stopped by and paid me a visit"

Meredith froze..

"You know.. I know she is your friend, and a yesterday I wanted to.. she is not a very supportive friend.. "

Toning down his voice, "but today.. she just doesn't want you to keep get hurt.. and I will make sure that you never get hurt ever again"

Looking back up at him.. relieved he was here.. surprised by Cristina's action… "I don't want to get hurt either"

Meredith was still clutching the papers, and Derek looked down at them, and then back up at her and gave her a questioning look.

"Homework"

"Homework?..For a case?"

"For us"

"Why do we have homework?"

"Because after my non-existent lunch, and dealing with my crap interns, and two E.R. cases that came in.. I went to an emergency session"

Worried because she had not eaten, knowing that she has had a hard time sleeping, but at the same time chuckling because of her wording,

"Emergency session.. ?"

"I avoid Derek"

Now it was Derek's turn to be completely shocked. Meredith has done it.. he knows she avoids, she knows she avoids, her friends know.. but Meredith avoids admitting it, and now she just said it without a care in the world,

"This afternoon, I just.. this fear.. that everything is going to go away, and I ran away from your office, I avoided…. So I went to therapy.. and well we talked about trauma and grief and then she gave us homework."

"Trauma and Grief? Meredith what are you talking about?"

"Trauma from drowning.. Grief from losing my mother, basically my father too, and Susan.. and well.. you.."

" I don't understand.. Meredith what…"

"Derek I pushed everything away.. Instead of dealing with it.. she made me see that I build up walls and push everything inside.. and because of that.. well that was a part of what ruined us before.. and now that therapy is working.. I can't stop crying.. at first I thought I was pregnant…. But that was a big fat negative.. but it really is just my emotional and psychological stress from everything that happened this past year.."

"Actually dealing with it.. actually facing everything.. trying again with you.. it just.. I can't stop crying.." and with this complete release of everything that has been happening, she again started to cry.

Derek sat there on the cement block completely baffled.. He heard the words….. but still completely stunned..

She looked back at him with tears in her eyes…

Entirely proud of her for everything, he wiped away her tears, pressed a kiss to her forehead in which she did not even pull away, and whispered out,

"What do we do now?"

"I mean.. with this grief and trauma.. are you going to be put on medication.. or just continue with therapy.. do I need to.."

Meredith cut him.. "No.. no medication.. I just have to keep talking about.. she said that if I continue to open up the walls will come down… she said I need to start eating better.. _with this Derek shook his head knowing of her choice of meals.._ and I have to try to sleep.. I just am scared of the panic attacks.. but I have to try.. and she said slowly things will start changing for me…. Whatever that means.."

"I told you this the other night overlooking the ferry.. but I am so proud of you"

The wind started picking up and Meredith let out a shiver.

"Well doctor Grey.. we have homework.. and if I know you like I think I do.. you don't want to fail at anything.. so what do you say.. come with me.. leave your car here.. we will eat dinner and then homework"

Meredith jumped off the block, reached out her hand, and stated, "Can we pick up a pizza?"

Derek jumped off the block, grabbed her hand immediately, and then started their walk to his car, "Pizza huh?.. and here you are suppose to be eating better.. well your just in luck.."

He opened the door for her, put their stuff in the backseat, and got in on his side.

"Just in luck for what?"

"I have all the stuff to make home-made pizza.. You my dear can put whatever you would like on it.. and it will be completely healthy for you…"

She looked back at him with a smile all over her face.. he looked back at her.. and the entire ride back to the land.. they just kept sharing glances all the while their hands intertwined.

Derek and Meredith both changed when they first got back to the trailer. He loved when she wore his clothes.. it did bad things to mind.. but she never looked sexier wearing a pair of his boxers and a cotton shirt.

He got the dough and sauce ready not trusting her in the kitchen, while she relaxed at the table on his computer..

When everything was ready. He got out the rest of the ingredients. She put on everything… they both had their own pans for their pizza. Derek put them in the oven, and could not stop staring at her. Feeling so much hope, that this was really going to work, he walked two steps forward and lifted her on the counter-top.

She wrapped her legs around him and for the first time in a really long time they kissed. It was slow.. at first…she just wanted to feel him, she had missed him… and then the kiss turned into everything they had longed to share ..

With her hands running across his shoulders and then back into his hair as he ran one hand along her jaw… they both opened their eyes… With complete lust, with complete faith, and with complete hope.. they both at the same time felt that everything was really going to be okay..

Let me know what you think.. Kate


	15. What Else Can Happen

_Chapter 14- What Else Can Happen_

_With her hands running across his shoulders and then back into his hair as he ran one hand along her jaw… they both opened their eyes… With complete lust, with complete faith, and with complete hope.. they both at the same time felt that everything was really going to be okay.._

_XXXXX_

Hours later after the sun had settled across the Seattle sky, Meredith began making the bed for the night. Taking the pillows off and pulling the blankets back as Derek came out after brushing his teeth.

She got out the homework papers from therapy ready as she was snuggling in on her side of the bed.

Derek came out, stared at her for a quick second, and then proceeded to change.

Finally ready, he got into bed next to her, pushed his pillow back, sat up, and sighed out,

"Homework.. I feel like I am in high school again.."

With this Meredith giggled at first, and then as it faded it out, she remembered why they had it in the first place.

Noticing the change in her demeanor after her little giggle, he then too again remembered that she freaked out, ran and avoided him after his first go at therapy.

Reaching over he grabbed the paperwork out of her hands and looked at the directions Dr. Wyatt had listed,

"Derek and Meredith,

In your way to building back the fundamentals, I leave you each this questionnaire. The two of you are to take turns going through the questions and answering them both to each other and on paper to turn back into me.

This may seem silly and a waste of your time, but trust me in the long this will help the two of you get to know each other again and continue to grow together.

Have fun with this and don't hold anything back,

Dr. Wyatt."

After reading out the instructions he looked over at Meredith who had a nervous look on her face, "you want to go first, or do you want me to go first?"

Meredith swallowed, deep, scared, nervous, she had no idea what these questions were about, but she knew it could really help so she went for it,

"I can go first, if you want.. I can.. I'll go first"

Derek turned over the first page and read out the first question for her with a smirk on his face,

"What are the three most sensitive parts on your body above your waist?"

Meredith went wide eyed and went to grab the papers out of Derek's hand thinking he was taking this as a joke and made up the question. But to her complete surprise that really was the first question as Derek laughed out, "you know I think I like this homework… yes, Meredith, what are those three sensitive parts? He then tilted his head to side damn well already knowing the answer.

Noticing the smirk, she hit his arm with the papers and then filled out her answer. Feeling like an idiot at first, she replied, "That spot on my ear, anywhere on my neck, and well my lips"

A little surprised he sat back as she read out his first question,

"What do you admire or appreciate about your partner?"

Derek got that look in his eye before she finished even reading out his questions, his eyes were beaming, the way he looked at her made her melt.

"hmm… this is easy.." With this, Meredith was anxious to see what he had to say.

"You had a hard upbringing, but look at you now. I completely admire your drive, your stubborn determination, that despite all the negative, despite the crap childhood, you still became what you wanted to be.. I admire your work ethic, the way you are with your patients, I admire you for giving me another chance..I admire.."

With this, Meredith took in a deep breath not used to hearing these words.

Initi_ally she thought the homework for therapy was going to be different, but now she realized these questions were for the both of them to continue to grow and open up about their past. _

They continued for another hour filling out the questions and telling stories, sharing feelings, and both of them got a new understanding of each other, which helped break down the barriers that were holding them down before.

XXXXXX

The next morning the birds outside were chirping away as the sky was completely clear. Derek started to stir in his sleep with his arm wrapped protectively around Meredith.

He remained this way not even thinking about the alarm clock or work until Meredith woke up and looked at the clock. She went wide eyed and yelled out,

"I am going to be fired"

Confused as to her reaction and what she was talking about, "Why?"

Meredith threw Derek's arm off and started freaking out,

"Look at the time… No alarm.. Crap.. Surgery.. Job" In between her rambles she changed her clothes and got her stuff together.

As she freaked out Derek glanced at the clock. He could not believe it. They had stayed up almost the entire night. They did finish the homework papers, it was relatively easy and he enjoyed it, and it led them both to revealing more about there past. In which no one set the alarm for the morning and he even slept in.

Now Derek jumped out of bed and started freaking out as they both began rambling as they hurriedly brushed their teeth and got ready in the trailer.

"Derek this is bad..I am going to fired.. you are going to be.. there goes our jobs… and now people are going think we had sex all morning.. or all night.. o god or both.. and no jobs… there goes.."

"Take a breath.. we are not going to lose our jobs.. lets go.. we will be fine"

XXXXXX

Finally at the hospital.. Running in for her for life.. with Derek trying to keep up behind her.. she just about gets to the residents lounge with her locker when Izzie screams out,

"Thank God. Meredith are you okay.. Where the hell have you been?"

Right after the Izzie drilling, Doctor Miranda Bailey rounded the corner with a pissed off look on her face.

Just as she started to speak, Derek rounded to the corner to be there to back up Meredith if she needed it.

"Grey what the hell is wrong with you. You have your friends worried, you have your sister who is so damn nervous she can't even talk to her patients.. You think it is okay to scare everyone who cares about you. Change.. then get down to the pit.. Interns are already taken care of and you might want to page Yang who is about damn ready to call the police."

Completely taken aback, Meredith leaned back into Derek.

"Well you were wrong they did not think we were having sex all night and all morning"

Meredith gave him a dirty look and went to change her scrubs.

While she was changing, Derek walked over to the nurse's station to look at his patients charts and to wait for Webber who he knew was going to be pissed.

After glancing over to make sure all the levels were fine and patients were okay, Meredith walked back out putting her pager on and Mark rounded the corner.

Looking at both of them with a proud smile on his face he blurted out loud enough for everyone to here,

"You know if it was anyone else I would be jealous, but the two of you going at it all night and all morning.. You both make me proud.. Now that is a reason to be late ladies and gentlemen"

With this Meredith blushed like it really happened and immediately turned around and walked away to get to the pit before she got into any more trouble as Alex and George burst out into laughter, the nurses glared, and passerby's started to whisper obviously picking up on the conversation.

As Meredith bolted past other patients on her way down she thought about last night and this morning.. _This was already an interesting day.. From her friends being all worried, her sister freaking out, to everyone on the floor thinking she spent her morning having awesome sex with Derek, and Bailey's reaction, and.. Meredith just kept going through everything in her mind. Thinking what else could possibly happen today_..

That all changed when she opened the doors to the pit.

So I just started my summer classes.. I have 13 credits this summer semester.. so sorry the updates are not everyday.. but I promise I will do my best… Next update I can promise will be up Friday at the latest.. Thanks for baring with me. Thanks for the comments!!.. Again.. Please let me know what you think..–Kate…

.p.s. recommend Cayman Islands.. best freaking vacation ever!!


	16. Meredith's Mystery Man

Chapter 15- Meredith's Mystery Man

As Meredith bolted past other patients on her way down she thought about last night and this morning.. _This was already an interesting day.. From her friends being all worried, her sister freaking out, to everyone on the floor thinking she spent her morning having awesome sex with Derek, and Bailey's reaction, and.. Meredith just kept going through everything in her mind. Thinking what else could possibly happen today_..

That all changed when she opened the doors to the pit.

GAGAGAGAGAG

Frozen.

She could not move..Her feet were planted firmly in the ground. Her knees started to shake.

She just stared straight ahead at him as her interns began to assess the patient.

He was being so caring, holding her hand, whispering into her ear, and had not yet looked up once to see that Meredith Grey was there.

George who was retaking his intern test tomorrow morning and therefore was still on her service for the day and shouted out to one of the nurses to page Dr. Shepherd immediately.

As they were waiting for Shepherd, George looked back at Meredith surprised she was letting him go solo on this patient when he realized something was wrong, he took a few steps back and asked,

"Dr. Grey? Is everything okay?"

When she did not respond, he shouted out to snap her out of her place, "Meredith...?"

GAGAGAGAGAGAG

He felt guilty, he felt insanely guilty, he has always wanted to go out West, to California, Oregon, and Washington. The first stop here in Seattle with his wife and now as she was lying here in the hospital bed, he felt incredibly guilty.

He was not paying any attention to the nurses around him, the interns, the doctors, the other patients, he was only paying attention to his wife. Telling her she was going to be okay.. When he heard out the intern call out Dr. Grey, he thought it was fluke.. No way.. not possible.. so he ignored it… what are the chances.. But when he heard him shout out her name he turned around to the biggest surprise of his life.

GAGAGAGAGAGAG

Derek was just about to go to his office, when he was paged down to the pit. Knowing that Meredith was down their for the day made him a little more excited.

As he rounded the corner to where the patient's room was, he at first grabbed the chart, ignoring who was in the room, but then when he looked up to speak no words came out when he saw the patient staring confusedly at her husband, and looked over to see the way her husband was looking at…Meredith Grey with tears in her eyes.

In the moment he hated his job because he needed to put his patient first, so he turned back to the women so they could find out why she had a seizure this morning at their bed and breakfast, while his stomach turned in twists and knots knowing something was going on with Meredith.

GAGAGAGAGA

He could not believe it; He literally could not believe it. For several moments he was a crap husband, and he completely forgot he was in the hospital, he forgot he was even married, instead he stared into those green eyes he had not seen in a very, very long time. Finally he could not take it anymore and got up.

GAGAGAGGAGA

When he turned around, Meredith could not believe it was really him. She thought it was him, but could not truly believe it was. Derek came into the room, she always knows and watches him, but in this moment, she did not even know that he was here.

He got up… He got up fast, and more tears ran down Meredith's face. He walked over to her, and grabbed her into a big hug. Lifting her off the ground, holding onto her tighter, almost as if he never wanted to let her go, and spun in circles.

The nurses around the pit did not know what to do.. They did not know what to think, as rumors were the legends of Derek and Meredith were back together, but now right in front of him she was hugging a patients husband.

Bailey and Mark came down as another patient needed assistance in the pit, but to there surprise stopped too to glance at what was happening before them.

George. Ohh.. Poor, sweet, innocent, George, whose eyes went bigger then you can even imagine. He stared at Meredith then back at Derek, then to the patient, then to the husband.

And Derek.

He was okay with the looks, the looks made him a little sick, but he was okay with them. But the minute this guy touched her, he thought he was going to loose it.

The hug, which was lasting to long, he could not deal with anymore. So he put down the chart and walked over to him.

As he started walking over, Mark too started walking over to be their for whatever this was for his brother.

"Meredith who the hell is this?"

Sorry the update was not up yesterday.. Hope you like it.. Let me know what you think..-Kate..


	17. A Guy From Her Past

Chapter 16- A Guy From Her Past

_He was okay with the looks, the looks made him a little sick, but he was okay with them. But the minute this guy touched her, he thought he was going to loose it. _

_The hug, which was lasting to long, he could not deal with anymore. So he put down the chart and walked over to him. _

_As he started walking over, Mark too started walking over to be their for whatever this was for his brother. _

"_Meredith who the hell is this?"_

GAGAGAGAGAGAG

Going back into reality, she took a step back from him and got a big smile on her face. Completely ignoring Derek's presence, completely voiding out all the stares from other doctors and nurses, she could not believe that Geoff Wackerly was here.

--

While Meredith stared at him in shock, they both felt excitement and happiness, as he never thought he would see her again.

Snapping him out of his thoughts several doctors came closer and from the look of one of his wife's doctors, he felt like he was about to get pummeled down.

--

Meredith turned around finally and looked at Derek. She saw his confusion, she saw his worry, she saw his anger.. and the only thing she could do was begin to giggle at his denial of jealousy.

She walked over in front of Derek and cut off Mark and at first whispered,

"Derek calm down, take a breath, trust me its not what you think"

And then she more proudly declared,

"Geoff I would like you to meet Derek Shepherd, Derek this is Geoff Wackerly, we grew up together in Boston and I have not seen him since what.. 10th grade?

Geoff replied with a laugh, "When I left.. you had the whole pink-hair thing going on"

Geoff extended his hand out to Derek's and they shook, with the nerves and anger leaving Derek's body, "Nice to you meet.. he then turned back to Meredith and gave her the cutest look and smirk, "Pink Hair?"

Meredith blushed a little, which made not only Geoff laugh, but Derek, Mark, and Bailey as well.

Bailey and Mark walked back to the other side of the pit, as Meredith replied, "Phase.. it was a phase.. not one I would like to relive. Yes.. I had pink hair….Among other things..

--

Meredith was exhausted.. She had been working all day.. in between patients, checking in on Geoff and Amy, and her therapy session today. Her appointment today was before Derek's and she wanted to see how it went for him today ..she was ready to get Derek, get her ride home, and fall fast asleep.

He wasn't on the surgery board, he wasn't in his office, he wasn't with Mark in the lounge, she had looked everywhere.

Finally giving up, she went to go check in on Amy and then was going to get one of her friends or a cab.

She walked slowly down the two flights of stairs, dragging her feet along, the further the she went, the more tired she got, as she finally arrived outside Amy's room she was lost in her own thoughts but she snapped out of it when she heard Derek and Geoff talking about her inside Amy's room.

--

Okay.. life has been kicking my ass this past week.. and I am soo sorry this update is short.. You guys are awesome with the comments, and I am not following through, but I wanted to put this up compared to nothing. Anyway.. the rest of this update will be up later tonight, or tomorrow.. again.. thank you!! - Kate


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